South Region - Second Round

It's the same in every office. Every year, some chick wins the bracket contest by picking alphabetically, or by famous alumni. Something stupid, that has no basis in which basketball team is actually better.

Well, men can play this game too. I'm breaking down every game of the tournament filling out our bracket by the old standby - "Who'd win in a Fight."

We’re finally ready to go with the second round, after the first proved to be a much more daunting task that we had previously considered.

But quit, we don’t.

Get me a glass of sweet tea, we’re goin’ South.

1 Ohio St. Buckeyes vs. 9 Xavier Musketeers
I tried to be fair when doing these match ups. I’m TRYING not to let my knowledge of the teams outweigh the mascots.

I must come up with a legitimate reason for every one of these teams to advance.

But I can’t come up with anything for the Buckeye here.

Sobakawa Pillows are uncomfortable. 3 Musketeers are delicious.

Adios one seed.

5 Tennessee Volunteers vs. 13 Albany Great Danes
Back to great danes, did anyone ever see how the gang made money? I mean, at the end they pull the mask off, the criminal claims he would have gotten away with it, and Scooby goes “rooby rooby roo.” But no money ever exchanged hands.

Really you could say Mystery, Inc. were actually volunteers.

But then when it was time to go in the creepy old house, Fred would go "Any Volunteers" and Scooby would chicken out with Shaggy. That's not good.

Sidenote: why did they never pull over before midnight in some strange town?

Scooby-Doo would be completely unrealistic these days, because you’d just shout at the TV “MAP QUEST DOT COM! MAP QUEST DOT COM!”

Tennessee advances because the gang had to loot or something to get by.

Velma finds a clue, Fred finds a safe. Scooby won't volunteer. That’s not cool.

6 Louisville Cardinals vs. 3 Texas A&M Aggies
The Aggies are cadets, and they have one of those groups that march around with rifles.

That’s not good because I’m sure they take shooting practice. Quail, deer, Taliban, Cardinals. Its all pretty much the same.

7 Nevada Wolf Pack vs. 15 North Texas Mean Green
While they are called the Mean Green, they still have an animal at UNT - the eagle.

If I tried harder, I might be able to come up with a legit reason for them to advance, but one eagle vs. a pack of wolves - even Joe Green vs. a pack of wolves.

Fazekas!

It'll be a busy morning as we wrap this bad boy up during commercial breaks before the tip off.