The Mascot Matchup - Final Four

Yes indeed, the Mascot Matchups are back. Hours of work are in. Here's the 5th and final post, the Final 4

FINAL FOUR
Tennessee Volunteers vs Clemson Tigers

If those two German fairies can tame some tigers, I'm going to guess that a dude with a gun can as well. After all you don't get a coonskin cap without killing a coon. And skinning it. Though Smoky might not be so lucky, the Vols are eating tiger chops. Then washing it down with some malt liquor from a jar.

UCLA Bruins vs Michigan State Spartans

Bears are smart. They aren't going to run into a stick. And for all the talk about how good those 300 dudes were in that one fight, they did lose. So I'm going to go with a historical perspective on this one, and say that as the Spartans get near the end, they lose. It's what they do. Spartans are losers. And history says they were more than likely gay and illiterate. Seems to me like they should have been eliminated long ago.

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
UCLA Bruins vs Tennessee Volunteers

The Final 4 is in San Antonio. So I'm going to go by the old saying, “Remember the Alamo.” Here's the basics. Almost half of Los Angeles is of Mexican descent. The Mexicans won the battle, but Sam Houston and the Texans still ended up winning their independence before later being illegally annexed despite being a sovereign nation. Oh, and remember how we were talking about Davy Crockett? Yeah, did I mention he died in the Battle at the Alamo?

The UCLA Bruins are your 2008 Mascot Matchup Champions!