East Region - Second Round

It's the same in every office. Every year, some chick wins the bracket contest by picking alphabetically, or by famous alumni. Something stupid, that has no basis in which basketball team is actually better.

Well, men can play this game too. I'm breaking down every game of the tournament filling out our bracket by the old standby - "Who'd win in a Fight."

We’re finally ready to go with the second round, after the first proved to be a much more daunting task that we had previously considered.

But quit, we don’t.

Screaming Janie, Janie, Jannnnnieee - we Head East.

1 North Carolina Tarheels vs. 8 Marquette Golden Eagles
Tar and Feather. Feather and Tar.

Here’s the question, can you tar and feather a bird? Really, it’s already got feathers, so you are just tarring it.

Can you tar a bird?

Joseph Hazelwood says yes.

UNC is into the Sweet 16.

5 Southern California Trojans vs. 4 Texas Longhorns
I tried about 9 different versions of this in my head since I saw the match up first on the bracket.

Honestly, I don’t know how to word it without coming off more risqué than I want.

Just know the match up was simulated using a brand-name Trojan that doesn’t hold up well with pointy things.

Texas bursts into the second week of play.

11 George Washington University Colonials vs. 3 Washington State Cougars
Worlds are colliding.

A George divided against itself cannot stand.

Do you like Independent George? ME TOO!

The question is which of these are independent George Washington?

The BCS Conferences get preferential treatment from the NCAA, and we can only hope that Miles Brand dies from licking envelopes.

That means it’s the spring of G-Dub!

7 Boston College Eagles vs. 2 Georgetown Hoyas
OK, it’s apparently the George region.

We want to see another George match, complete with Seinfeld quotes, so we’re inclined to let the unofficial bulldog mascot eat the eagle.

Hoya Paranoia!