To Poke or not to poke, that is the question

Pokey’s unfortunate circumstance got me thinking what exactly is an inappropriate relationship with a player.

Without knowing exactly what took place (though I can guess with a name like Pokey – she was probably the man in the relationship), I decided to put together a general guide for appropriate and inappropriate behavior for women basketball coaches.

Appropriate - Saying you admire Pat Summitt.

Inappropriate - Saying you admire a player’s "peaks."

Appropriate - Patting a player on the backside.

Inappropriate - Getting your forward smack your backside while you dress up as a French maid.

Appropriate - Preaching the virtues of the fullcourt press.

Inappropriate - Pressing up against a player in the food court and calling her “Cinnabon.”

Appropriate - Recruiting with text messages.

Inappropriate - Using the “Mark Foley Method” for said text messages.

Appropriate – Encouraging players to practice free throws.

Inappropriate – Practicing as a free ho.

Appropriate – Campaigning for players to have the right to a college life.

Inappropriate – Campaigning for your right to have a wife.

Appropriate – Telling players to hit the showers.

Inappropriate – Telling players you like golden showers.

Appropriate - Cutting down the nets after a big win.

Inappropriate - Stripping into your fishnets in the locker room after a big win.

Appropriate - Screaming at the refs for not awarding a tipped ball on a tie-up.

Inappropriate - Wait, this is about women coaches, my bad.

If you are an aspiring woman’s basketball coach, I’d advise printing this out and putting it in the pocket of your flannel shirt.